A friend kindly forwarded the following advert to us, spotted recently on the www.local.gov.uk website.
- “Most Improved Council”. This was awarded by the media publication arm of the body that acts as the “Trade Union” for local authorities such as Wirral Council, namely, the Local Government Chronicle and the Local Government Association respectively. So… when untrustworthy organisations such as these award their paying members (with our cash) worthlesss little badges, proclaiming bogus leaps of progress or wonderful, but in reality, worthless, phantom achievements, we can safely ignore it. This award occurred 3 years ago. Since then, it’s been repeatedly overwritten and drowned out by scandal upon scandal – such as the independent OFSTED investigation’s “INADEQUATE” for Children’s Services and the (conveniently secret) Serious Case Review for the Rajenthiram brothers child abuse case. Despite these failures being overlaid across the top, the term “Most Improved Council” is still emblazoned shamelessly and dishonestly across every email, letter, and JOB ADVERT, (see above) jostling for our attention.
- “A Progressive and Driven Partnership Galvanizer”. No comment, apart from ….WTAF? The lurch to impenetrable jargon continues apace, and remains a surefire indicator of an organisation with its collective, away with the fairies head rammed firmly up its collective, tight as a duck’s arse sphincter.
- “Create a Legacy for Yourself in the Process”. Here is another clear insight into the whacky, out of kilter motivations of this basket case. Forget old fashioned service to the public. At Wirral, they do things differently. You can shove all that public service bollocks to one side, and strike out on your own, in your own selfish interest, carving out your own miserable ‘legacy’. And we’re here to shield and sustain you in that, and to passionately wave some palm fronds and beat the path ahead of you in your honour as you proceed…
- Transformation. Do you get it? Does anybody get it? It’s another chuckaway term that despite forensic analysis, remains utterly meaningless. Transformation to what? Transformation from what? It echoes the deep insincerity of that old chestnut, ‘moving forward”. Moving forward from what? Moving forward to WHAT? The next scandal in the pipeline?
THE ABILITY REALITY
The skills and qualities you will actually require…
- The ability to attend court, molest a bible and bust a religious oath
- The ability to ‘forget’ inconvenient truths, and instead, to only recall events or details that are advantageous to oneself and the corrupted body corporate
- The ability to take copious notes every single day as part of your council role, as they will be required in order to successfully achieve 1 and 2 above
- The ability to state in court that you were not actually taking notes on ‘that particular day’, because such an admission would have the effect of damaging one’s chances of winning the case and endangering the reputation of oneself and the body corporate
- 7. 8. 9. …………….Lots more, but I don’t want to bore you. You get the picture…
10. That’s it.