27th October 2016
The Serious Bit (scroll down for the Pathetically Unfunny Bit)
The Royal Oak pub is situated almost within spitting distance of Angela Eagle’s office building.
Thanks go to @Level80, John Brace for drawing our attention to this item on the Wirral Council to-do list.
It refers to a Special Meeting of the Environment Overview and Scrutiny Committee to be held on Wednesday, 9 November 2016.
The whole document is reproduced below. Section 4 is of interest to those who pay council tax, and if you’re wondering how your money is being invested and spent. Also, who exactly pays us – or in this case doesn’t pay us – for use of the services the council provides:
The Pathetically Unfunny Bit
So we can assume from this, after a Multi Agency Co-ordination meeting in July 2016 between the police and the council, Angela Eagle’s office in Sherlock House was recommended for special attention*.
We’re now wondering….
- When was the last time a smashed window 25 metres away from a notoriously violent pub made the police and Wirral Council swing into action the very next day (13th July), to provide the businesses affected with instant, bespoke, fawning, special attention*?”
- Who’s paying for it?
*the above meeting; drive-by patrols every day for 2 weeks; 2 further weeks’ targeted vigilance; special council meeting, all expenses paid, coming up on 9th November.
The Wirral Council Community Patrol service are there to respond to anti-social behaviour. Someone had damaged a window near to an MP’s constituency office in a known troublespot, and despite the long litany of violent incidents at The Royal Oak referred to above, with stabbings, ears bitten off, eyes poked out with stilettoes, and finally the landlord’s license to trade up before a licensing committee…
…it was not this pub, but Angela Eagle’s constituency office over the road that now qualified for special treatment as a potential hot spot for ASB !
There are now a couple more alternatives to explore.
As set out above, Wirral Council firmly believe this window incident was a case of people behaving anti-socially; the reason why it’s now been deemed a potential ASB hot spot.
The local Police and Crime Commissioner, Jane Kennedy and Councillor Bernie Mooney, Labour councillor for Liscard believe the window was smashed by Jeremy Corbyn’s supporters (who if the press are to be believed are all middle class, affluent and based in and around the city of London).
So now, with full knowledge of where Ms Eagle’s office was, there was a very real danger these Corbyn people would:
- gather in large, angry groups in Corbyn’s Islington constituency
- travel 231 miles to Wallasey in huge convoys on their carbon-neutral bicycles
- stop off in Heswall at reasonably-priced restaurants for an agreeable quinoa dish washed down with a smooth lattè
- carefully swerve The Royal Oak pub over the road due to its violent reputation
- park up, padlock their bicycles securely
- remove their bicycle clips and cleverly store them safely under the saddle
…and then, with retribution burning in their hearts, and fuelled by wild-eyed political zeal and hatred for Blairites, head straight to Sherlock House and target the area once more…
- shouting, swearing
- hurling bricks
- Smashing the Eagle office window that was left untouched the first time
- tipping bins over
- swearing again
- slashing car tyres
- shouting through letterboxes
- ringing doorbells and running away
- creating havoc
- sending the Royal Oak’s doormen and pissed up customers scattering
So if Alternative 1 holds true, Wirral Council are strongly disagreeing with the media interviews given on 12th July, when Bernie Mooney and Jane Kennedy reached a damning consensus on the smashed window, telling viewers, listeners and readers up and down the land they’d finished their enquiries early and “it was Labour members what done it.”
But now, despite Jane and Bernie’s sterling work and media-facing endeavours in the public interest, their efforts were wasted.
It was just some pesky local kids behaving anti-socially.
And the message faithfully put out by 12+ large circulation national newspapers that Corbyn was guilty was wrong after all. Jeremy was not to blame. Just ask Wirral Council.
The bit that makes no sense whatsoever
And finally, some reassurance…
When you’re walking through Liscard on a dark winter’s night, remember, the council patrol team are out and about in the community. And when they drive down Manor Road, heading into town, feel reassured. They’re not looking at The Royal Oak, where there’s a risk of getting your ears bitten off or your eyes gouged out.
Their eyes are turned the other way, towards the windows of Angela Eagle’s office building.
Don’t have nightmares.